Rector's Blog: Your Epiphany

This blog is also available as a podcast.

Ok, so Christmas is over. The baby was born. Jesus is here. God with us. Now what? In the church we celebrate a season called Epiphany, and I’m here to tell you it’s underrated. Epiphany is the season we dedicate to the “Now what?” that follows Christmas. The Baby is born. Jesus is here. God is with us. Epiphany is an opportunity to focus on where we see God. Epiphany is about the revelation of the work Jesus is doing in your life. It’s the manifestation of God’s presence right here and right now in this world.

Ten years ago this week, in the Episcopal Cathedral in Los Angeles California, I was ordained to the priesthood. 6 days prior to that my first child, a girl named Paige, was born. After 32 hours of labor, Paige was born via emergency C-section, happy and healthy and beautiful and life-changing. The C-section meant we spent four days in the hospital as my wife Krista recovered. It’s rare that a priest can say their ordination wasn’t even the most interesting thing that happened to them that week, but here we are. Paige won the week.

So, we were in the hospital for four days, got home, and two days later we all headed up to Los Angeles for the service. Krista and Paige even came. To this day, I will never comprehend the herculean amount of strength Krista exerted in order to show up to that after what her body had just been through. She is mind-boggling.

Being a priest is weird, you know. I was in the ordination process when I met Krista, and we got engaged fairly quickly, so I had to introduce her to my bishop and ask his permission to get married. Yes, seriously. I remember when he met her. He looked at me and he said, “Phil, don’t forget that you’re making your vows to each other before any vow you make to the church. Remember that’s the order of importance.” That stuck with me. I couldn’t help but think as I walked into the cathedral for my ordination, “Paige got here first.” As a mentor once said to me, “Yes, the Lord works in mysterious ways, but sometimes He works in really obvious ways too."

Family first is easy to say. I won’t waste your time pretending I always get it right. I don’t. But I can tell you what I find fascinating about Paige winning the week: It’s how her presence in my life continues to influence my priesthood, how she informs and impacts my vocation. She’d read that last paragraph and say, “Dad you told me God isn’t a man, why did you call God ‘Him’ in that sentence?” She helps me see God. She helps reveal more of me to me. I don’t know how to think about what I do without thinking about her. We often think about our vocations, our callings, our passions, as sort of islands in our lives – as if they belong utterly to themselves, but this is not true. They do not stand alone. How you understand your purpose, how you live into it, is shaped by so many beautiful, difficult, impossible, wondrous things all around you.

What is your vocation in this world? You have one. The God of Love created you on purpose, and for a purpose. You are no accident. You were put on this earth to receive and to give Love. Your vocation is the thing that helps make that more real, that carries you into a deeper understanding of your belongingness in this world. Now, what influences your vocation? What helps you see God? What reveals more of you to you? That’s where Jesus lives. The same Jesus who is seated at the right hand of the Father is united to you in flesh and blood, living powerfully within your life. That connection is made manifest in the places where your loving purpose on this earth is revealed and nurtured and influenced.

God is utterly connected to your vocation, to your love and passion in this world, to the things that help you understand and care for yourself more fully. God is not the bringer of shame. God is the light that brightens the darkest places and reminds us we have something to live for. God is the one who is present right here and right now, illuminating our connectedness and kindling our hearts with passion, and imbuing our lives with meaning as we seek to love and be loved.

One of the ways Paige influenced my priesthood was, in fact, just by being born when she was. It put things in perspective for me. It reminded me of what really mattered as I went about doing my work in the world. This is why I ask you to consider not just what your work in the world is, but what influences you as you undertake that work. Right now, our work in the world, our vocations, are being profoundly influenced by a pandemic. There is a lot of pain, suffering, death, and trauma to be found in this. At the same time, so much is being put into perspective for us. What really matters is becoming more and more obvious. You may have noticed I tell you I love you more often these days. That is intentional. I realize during this time that what matters to me more than anything is that you know you are loved, and that we all find ways to be reminded of our fundamental unity and connection in Christ. We belong to each other, and our time apart has only made that more obvious to me.

Throughout this season, I will be using my blog to interview some of you and ask you about your vocation, about what influences you, about where you see God at work, and about how this pandemic is shaping your understanding of what matters. Part of the power of thinking through these questions is we realize that our calling in this world isn’t just about us, about our passion, power, or achievement: It’s about what God is revealing to us in our lives. God is speaking to us right now, in mysterious and in obvious ways. One way we can listen to God is by paying attention to what is giving us life and purpose, by where the light is in our darkest days. The church’s work, especially during Epiphany, is to listen.