Sacred Connections: Anxiety or Anxiousness
Even the word "anxiety" can feel a little anxiety producing for me these days. Frankly, I want to write about something else, but this topic keeps coming up in my daily encounters, and perhaps that’s also true for you. I’m not referring to the level of anxiety that may be diagnosed as a serious medical condition needing professional treatment, but to that more general level of anxiety, fear, concern dis-ease many may be experiencing in our day-to-day lives.
Just in the last forty-eight hours, conversations have included anxiety over changes in work arrangements; concern about making care arrangements for elder family members with physical and mental challenges; difficult discernments regarding the start of a new school year; the devastating losses of young victims to gun violence that strike too close to school or home. These are personal and local community anxieties, without even touching on this week’s national headlines and the on-going topics of concern we know too well.
Anxiety is not limited to people. My dog SweetP had a full-blown anxiety attack a couple nights ago. I could recognize the deer-in-the-headlights look, the panting and drooling, but I had no idea what had triggered this or how to ease her angst. I tried a short walk, a longer one, some time alone on the patio – she tried to chew through the gate. My offers of distractions in the form of favorite treats, my default to medical therapeutics were all declined. For some reason, that night brought back memories of the feelings of helplessness my mother and I experienced, when her anxiety seemed to overwhelm her and there was little comfort or relief. Even when we want so badly to help, there may be times we just don’t know how. The combination of SweetP’s “thunder-shirt” and simple loving presence eventually granted us some peace.
Anxiety is to be reckoned with. Yet, might there be times when we might consider reframing our experience from anxiety to anxiousness? While worry, and unease are parts of anxiousness, there’s also an aspect of looking ahead in anticipation of something to come. I think of how anxious many of us are to feel able to worship together in our church building again. That thought is not without worry or concern, because we want to create a safe environment and experience, and to protect everyone who attends. But that concern is joined with the anticipation, of seeing the welcome and joy in beloved eyes visible above face masks.
Somehow, the idea of being anxious seems to loosen anxiety up a bit. It opens us to see the multiple dimensions of our situations, not only the aspects we most fear or dread. Saying “I’m anxious for a loved one to receive the care they need”, acknowledges the concern, yet allows that space of possibility for something very good to come forth. Anxiety can feel overwhelming, anxiousness may give us a little more space to breathe. In that gentle shift, we can be there for each other, listening to concerns and anticipating future possibilities. Simple presence, even at a distance, communicates our love for each other, God is with us, we are not alone. We might be surprised by the gifts discovered even in these difficult times.
The other day, in a longing for “normal” I allowed myself a visit to a favorite store that features the creative works of local artists. I came away with a very tiny bowl with this gentle reminder, “Love the hot mess that is you.” God does. We can too.
