Sacred Connections: Over and Under-whelmed
Each day, it seems we have more choices available to us and this feels like a really good thing. More activities are opening up, loved ones may be inviting us out, and there’s more talk of plans for visits. Beautiful things – wonderful people! But the choice processing mechanisms in our brains may seem a little overwhelmed these days after over a year of seemingly fewer choices. At least for me, I’m used to being with my dog and five people in my neighborhood. Wow! Do I even know how to be with people beyond my pod? Do we know how to begin to branch out and engage a bit more with others again?
Philip DeVaul shared great news in his blog earlier this week! We are readying for regathering in person in the Church of the Redeemer sanctuary on May 16! The answer to the question we have all been asking is “May 16”! Wow! I can’t begin to describe the anticipated excitement of looking out and seeing people in pews, beloved masked faces looking up, and faithful heads bowed in prayer. Just the thought is almost overwhelming in the best possible way. And yet, there is an element of underwhelm too, we will still be decidedly constrained, at least for a while.
As Philip described in his blog, we will still have choices. The 9:00am livestream will continue, there will just now be the option of in-person attendance. For this month, the 11:15am service in Ault Park will continue as well. We simply have a growing number of choices. While none may perfectly match the image of the ideal choices we carry in our minds, they are real choices and represent further forward movement in the journey we’ve been on.
Part of that journey for each of us has been getting more in touch with our own lives, discovering who and what we cherish most dearly, better understanding our deepest longings, and listening more closely to that inner discerning of the choices before us each day.
Yesterday was one of those days for me where nothing went quite as planned. I kept finding myself encountering something quite unanticipated, something more and something less than my well-crafted plan. And things can still feel a bit clunky these days, meeting locations dependent on weather, masks dependent on locations, and unexpected concerns arising at every turn. This is life. And yet there is such profound beauty in all the messiness. When we let go of our perfect plans and simply participate in what is before us right now, we can see the movement of the Spirit, and we can follow where the Spirit leads.
Last night, I had anticipated a celebration, sharing a meal with dear friends, reconnecting after a long winter apart. However, our meal became a sacred time of their sharing news of a very difficult diagnosis. It was not the light-hearted celebration I had anticipated, but it was a celebration of much more. Our time together was an expression of trust and love in a friendship spanning decades; it was heartfelt, it was real, it was living the love to which we are called.
Philip wrote, “But here’s the beauty of real life: something can be disappointing and amazing at the same time. Something can frustrate our expectations and still be deeply nourishing and joyful.” For many of us, these words resonate so deeply because we may find that this is what we are invited to experience every day.
Every moment that seems not to be of our choosing, seems to be also an opening to something very real, a deeper conversation, an invitation to new understanding, a chance to let go of yet another surface illusion and see what treasure lies at the core.
Several years ago, during a quiet day at the church, we invited people to participate in a walking meditation in the sanctuary. We encouraged them to open their senses and experience the sanctuary space and all that is in it as if they were entering for the first time. We guided them to actually see the space, to notice what draws their attention, to be in touch with the feelings, thoughts and prayers that simply arise. It was a very moving experience.
When we experience the joy of regathering in person in the sanctuary, it will be overwhelming and underwhelming. It will not be our fantasy, but it may be so much more. We may carry with us cherished memories of heartfelt times, of being there with loved ones, of a community in worship, of participating in the sacraments. We may bask in the warmth of familiar and beloved smiling eyes. And, we will also have the opportunity, to experience the sanctuary space anew, to see with fresh eyes, to be attentive to the feelings and prayers that simply arise.
We are not who we were before, and we are becoming still. We have been on such a profound journey together. Our journey continues in Christ’s love.
