Sacred Connections: Regrouping

Regrouping seems to be an on-going need right now. And I find myself really struck by the word itself these days. I've always thought of regrouping in a more individual sense - like, "Okay, that didn't go quite as I’d hoped, time to regroup, try something else!” Or sometimes in a project sense, “Well that didn’t accomplish what we wanted, we need to regroup, create a new plan.” Yet regrouping these days seems to be less an aberration and more an on-going way of life.

Individually, or as family units sheltering together, many of us have kept trying to find a new routine, get into a flow of life, work, school, chores, exercise, meals, worship, prayer. Sometimes even the simplest concerns seem more complicated. The simplest schedule seems unmanageable. And just as one routine might seem to gain a little traction, external conditions change posing new questions and choices. At least for me, even familiar activities can seem more perplexing given all the underlying new considerations.

Yesterday morning, I was taking my car in for service because my brakes were making quite ominous sounds. To minimize contact and physical exposure I don my mask, carry my wallet with credit cards and driver’s license in a waist pack and intentionally leave my purse at home to minimize things exposed. I also make the conscious decision to leave the garage door opener on the visor of my car, thinking the car will be in service for only a few hours. At drop off, I discover I need my insurance card for the loaner – it’s in my purse at home and it appears I may have to go back to get it. This simply feels like a road too far – a feeling likely written all over my face. Another service advisor helps me out – steps in and vouches for me as a long-time customer and I vow to send a picture of the card as soon as I get home. I leave my car, take the loaner, and head home.

I get home, and I am locked out of my home, because my purse is inside and my usual entry through the garage is not available to me – it’s on my car visor back at the dealer. I think of another possible helper – a neighbor with an extra key, and I am able to catch them just as they are heading out. All of this takes no more than 40 minutes, but it is draining, so many regroups before breakfast. Just these extra little considerations around COVID-19 has thrown off my little routines and my new efforts call for regroup, after regroup, and helpers. All the while there’s that little interior voice wondering why I can’t quite master all of this. I hear others experiencing similar situations too. We keep trying to figure out how to be safe, sane, and responsive to our changing circumstances and to each other, and it can require regrouping in unexpected ways moment to moment.

At Redeemer, we find ourselves continually challenged to regroup as well, to explore new ways to do what we can. In the Pastoral Ministries, Stephen Ministry and Knitters both held their first Zoom gatherings this past week. Both are groups that treasure personal contact, sharing of stories, sharing of experiences and learnings, and both had not been able to gather for these last two months. Regrouping through Zoom wasn’t the same, and yet it was wonderful. It wasn’t without moments and glitches, and technological challenges, but seeing beloved faces, sharing knitting projects, and ways of staying connected was simply life giving.

An added gift was that some who would not have been able to be physically present for reasons ranging from usual work schedules to childcare to physical concerns were still able to be present on the small screen and fully participate. There was laughter, empathy, such loving support for each other. A beautiful regroup until we can gather as before, but perhaps even then, we’ll find ways to include more folks through our learning curve with technology.

So, we keep regrouping, perhaps including in our relationships with God. What new questions arise in us in the midst of so much unknown, so much uncertainty, so much need for constantly finding new ways? We have new pathways for on-line community worship, we have access to Bible Study Groups we might not have been able to attend before. We have perhaps a more vulnerable, less self-assured/seemingly self-sufficient identity when we come in prayer to God. How have our prayers changed during these times? How do we even more deeply treasure the constancy of God’s love in a world shedding so many illusions of constancy? Are we finding ourselves regrouping with God too?

There’s a poem by Wendell Berry that always gives me such comfort in times of uncertainty and needing to find new ways:

It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings.

~Wendell Berry

It may be that all of this uncertainty, all of these challenges large and small, bring us to even greater openness on our journeys. Openness to our own unknowing, to compassion for each other, and to God’s enduring presence. This may be our invitation to an even deeper experience of God’s call to love.