Sacred Connections: Seeking to Understand
It’s always helpful to check things out. To check our understanding in the most basic neutral ways. Being human, we may think we know, or have assumptions, and then act on them in ways that are not helpful to ourselves or others. Granting ourselves and each other the chance to sort things out together is a gift of grace.
Last week I wrote of my sadness that our neighborhood garage gatherings seemed to be ending, only to find myself back at a garage gathering earlier this week. A couple of us in the group had misunderstood, and unknowingly leaped to conclusions that were simply not accurate. Yes, the world is opening a bit, albeit slowly, and what has been greatly valued is also able to continue on. Maybe the “opening” that is occurring grants more options, but it need not exclude newly cherished ones.
Our tendency to assume we understand may have increased during this time of less frequent interaction and greater separation and distance. When we have more time together, we have more of a sense of what’s going on in each other’s lives. In this sea of unknowns, we frequently simply don’t know. It becomes easy to inadvertently fill in blanks creating a story with little resemblance of the truth.
It’s very easy to come up with many excuses as to why not to reach out to someone. Perhaps we fear it has been too long, or the person might not want to hear from anyone, or we had heard second, third or fourth hand that they were not wanting to be disturbed. I delayed a recent contact for months, based on what others had told me, only to be delighted that my reaching out was very welcome indeed. Even if it had not been, there would still be the understanding that someone was thinking of them. Someone cared.
I think of our wonderful Missy Darling who has been a dedicated neighborhood connector, and her persistence in communicating whether she has been receiving a response or not. Missy is simply reaching out in love to people in our community, she understands the sacredness of our connection to one another. When responses do occur, they are a beautiful and unexpected gift in return.
In this time of physical separation from my family due to the pandemic, I wondered if we would ever return to our frequent visits of seeing each other every couple of months. Everyone lives at a considerable distance, so those times together were deeply cherished by me. But after more than a year, when I was feeling low, I would wonder, will these times happen again or has everyone’s lives moved on? I didn’t really voice these concerns and tried not to dwell on them. Perhaps others have found themselves with other unspoken concerns they have ruminated on too?
Then a week ago I received an unexpected text from my son wanting to set aside time for some small family visits this summer. I felt a surge of hope at the very possibility, and simultaneously was confronted with my own difficulty in opening to that hope and shifting gears. I was elated and uncomfortable all at once. I found myself holding the tension of all of the processes we continue to maintain to keep each other safe during this critical time, and also holding the belief that things are heading to a place of greater comfort and ease in the months to come.
Most of us haven’t gone through our experiences of the past year unscathed. While our challenges and circumstances are unique to each of us, there is no flipping a switch and we’re back to our pre-pandemic selves and times. We’ve been through and are continuing to go through much together, and it continues to be a process, a step at a time. Let us give ourselves and each other the gifts of patience and understanding. Let us continue to seek openings to share our lives and our love.
