Sacred Connections: The Person You Must Love

Find yourself and allow yourself to love what you find. (The Rector's Blog: Turning Toward Love)

I loved those words from the end of Phil’s blog of a couple days ago. They were words I needed to hear. This has been and continues to be a bit of a long haul for most of us these days. Yes, I do know, with some envy and a touch of amazement, a few folks who are flourishing during this time of sheltering in place and maintaining physical distance. Folks who are finding this to be a time of taking care of themselves, eating well, walking more, reading, studying, doing the things they might not otherwise get to in the normal flow of their days. They’re finding a gift in this time and using it well.

Then there are others of us who may be still trying to find that new rhythm and still finding it elusive. Days aren’t quite as clear. I always knew the day of the week and the date in the month until now. Now, not so much.

But what is clear, and what there is time to tend to, is love. For those of us who have been consuming too much news we have witnessed the tragedies of deaths and illnesses compounded by the need to keep at safe distances, the inability to hold a hand, give loving encouragement or say a last “I love you.” We don’t have to look as far as the news to be aware of the people in our own lives who we are not able to be with in our usual ways, not able to hug, or to sit beside. Not able to give or receive the same level of encouragement in the same previous ways. Not able to gather with to celebrate the life and grieve the death of one we love.

And yet we have this very visceral longing for those connections, and maybe that longing is the gift for all of us. Maybe that is the impetus to sit down and actually write a heartfelt note, send a card, pick up the phone, share something that has brought a smile, or a laugh or a tug at the heart.

Early on in this quarantine, I received a request from Emily Betz who was newly sheltering in place with her three young children. She was wanting to know if we might know of anyone who would like to be a pen pal with the little ones – someone they could write and draw pictures for and who might respond. She was wanting her children to reach out to someone else and hopefully brighten someone’s day. She was hoping a new relationship might even come about.

We were able to find two pen pals for the Betz family – one who would be delighted and yet not physically able to respond, and one who would definitely write back. Well the Betz family is bringing delight to these pen pals with drawings, and questions and expressions of interest and appreciation. And these young girls are receiving the gift of the joy of giving from the heart and sometimes directly receiving in return.

We’re not all called to be pen pals, but we all have the ability to express love in the ways still available to us right now. It is a gift to be so aware of those we love and still have the chance to reach out in new ways. And it is a gift to know there are new people to meet and love, new people to encounter even when we’re sheltering at home.

Even when we’re sheltering at home. As we have this time, as we find ourselves in these present days, let us also remember to love ourselves as we love our neighbors. To accept ourselves with love, humility, and compassion. To remember, we are each a beloved child of God. In the moments we’re feeling okay, celebrate that. In the moments we’re struggling, comfort ourselves as we would our dearest loved ones.

Over a decade ago, I was on pilgrimage in Wales and still reeling from the death of a loved one, and the dreams that had died as well. I wrote my way through that time of grief and the final lines of one of my primitive poems from that time came back to me while writing this now.

Leaving the sacred well,
I walked the path alone.
Words drifted forth
spoken
in silence
to me

“Love is never lost.
Love is not forgotten.
The person you must love
now
is you.”

Love God, love your neighbor, love yourself. Whether we’re confined or out in the world, we have the freedom each day to love.