WLSU: Indoctrination

In my house growing up, it was a given. We did not discuss it. I don’t even remember arguing about going at any point, because I never understood that it could be any other way – until I quit altogether. So as I began to live into my conversion as an adult, going to church seemed like an obvious part of that.

But for the last four months, I didn’t go. Mostly I was burned out and didn’t want to, so I didn’t. Sidenote: I am back now, and very happy to be back. While I don’t feel guilty about taking a break from attending church, I also feel much more grounded now that my Sundays are centered on worship again.

My kids go to church almost every Sunday as well. Of course they do. Their dad is a priest. Poor things. They never had a chance. Interestingly, the first few Sundays of my sabbatical, they kept going to church even when I stayed home. Like me as a child, it’s all they know. Then one Sunday they realized I wasn’t going and they decided that looked nice. And they stayed home.

And you know what? It was nice. I get it. I get why people don’t go to church on Sundays.

I know you’re hearing/reading this and wondering when the judgment kicks in. The other shoe is going to drop and I’m going to make you feel bad about not going to church enough. So let me just say this: I have no idea what “going to church enough” looks like. I have no idea what church means for you or what it should mean for you. That is for you to decide.

I will tell you this though: Sometimes I hear people say that they don’t take their children to church because they don’t want to indoctrinate them. They want their children to make up their own minds about religion when they get older. So I think this is the place for me to say that I want to indoctrinate my children. I believe indoctrination is normal and good, and I am done pretending otherwise.

I believe in indoctrinating my children. And I’m going to take it a step further and say that whether or not you even have children, you believe in indoctrinating children too.

If you insist that children go to school, you are indoctrinating them into the idea that education is important. If you insist they try hard, you are indoctrinating them into the idea that effort matters. If you ever stop a child from hitting someone and say something like, “We don’t hit,” that’s indoctrination. Can you imagine a parent saying that a child should decide for themselves whether or not they want to learn?

So when we make our kids go to church, that is indoctrination. And when we stay home, that is also indoctrination. We are indoctrinating our children into the idea that church is essential, or we are indoctrinating them into the idea that church is not essential. Again, I am genuinely not telling you to go to church more than you do or to make your children go. In my heart I believe you are meant to make that decision yourself. I’m just saying don’t operate under the impression that one of these things is indoctrination and another isn’t.

And of course, of course, indoctrination can be bad. We can instill into those around us very bad ideas and beliefs. We can indoctrinate people into hatred, pettiness, misogyny, white supremacy, fascism, communism, narrowness of mind, and violence. But when we seek to argue against this laundry list of evils, that’s indoctrination too.

We instill values into the next generation every day by how we choose to live and by what we expect of them. Period. This is indoctrination. Indoctrination is neither inherently good nor inherently bad, and it is happening all the time. On a practical level, if I am involved in a young person’s upbringing in any way, I am involved in their indoctrination. It’s happening whether I admit it or not, so I may as well be proactive about it.

There is something spiritual and beautiful about indoctrination. Passing our values from generation to generation is a fundamental part of the human experience. It’s literally how culture itself is created, nurtured, and sustained. And, perhaps surprisingly, this kind of indoctrination is also how culture grows and transforms.

The great bluesman B.B. King once said (and I’m very much paraphrasing) that you don’t just decide what your musical style or voice will be. You start by learning the notes, and trying to play the songs of your heroes. And in doing that, in seeking to be faithful to what you’ve learned, you find out that no matter what you do, when you play their songs it ends up coming out like you, not them. You can’t help it. Your desire to forward the culture you’ve inherited, coupled with your inability to be anything other than yourself, is both the transmission and transformation of culture.

But the musician must first learn to play the guitar, how to hold the instrument, where to place their fingers, and of course must listen to others play, get connected to genres and artists emotionally, and then try to do it themselves. That’s indoctrination. It’s not bad. It’s how we share our values. And the sharing of values is critical to transformation.

I’m back at church. And I do love it. I cannot make my kids love it. I cannot make them feel how I feel. And I cannot make them believe what I believe. I suppose that’s what some people mean when they speak pejoratively about indoctrination – the idea of making our kids copies of ourselves. But I’m not talking about that. I do not want my kids to be copies of me. I do not know what my children will believe or become as they grow up. I am committed to letting them be themselves and loving them no matter what. But I am absolutely indoctrinating them daily into the idea that Love is the central reality of all that is. I am indoctrinating them into the belief that our faith community is essential to our life. I am indoctrinating them into a life that includes prayer and songs and communion and gathering and learning and arguing and wondering and listening and loving.

When they grow up they may not believe in Jesus. But I hope they will know him.