Sep 08, 2023 |
Rector's Blog, When I Became an Episcopalian - Part 2
| The Rev. Philip DeVaulRector's Blog, When I Became an Episcopalian - Part 2
Do you believe you can be yourself at church? Do you think you can be yourself in front of God? I don’t like admitting that I’ve had problems with this my whole life. I remember during the years when I was unaffiliated with church and was actively questioning if I even believed in anything. I could never bring myself to say I wasn’t Christian, because what if I died in that moment and went to Hell? What is that other than the belief that you can’t be your whole self in front of God?
That night I was at a table with people who all believed different things and said that aloud. A couple of lifelong Episcopalians who never had serious doubts. A gay Christian who loved Jesus and felt safe being himself at this church. One guy who said he wasn’t sure he bought any of it but was there to sort things out. And me – a former fundamentalist turned spiritual-but-not-religious agnostic conservative liberal Jesus lover who’d had a recent conversion experience and was just trying to understand how to be Christian again. And we were all together. It was such a mess. Thank God.
The third thing I remember is the cookies.