Feb 16, 2024 |
WLSU, Love and Death
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
WLSU, Love and Death
We Christians believe in eternal life. Yet we still manage so often to think and speak of those who have died in the past tense. But Jim is a poet. And though he wasn’t reading a poem here, it takes a poet’s heart to lay bare the beautiful forgotten truth in such simple terms. A man standing mere feet from the ashes of his friend’s body and speaking of him in the present tense.
The words for what I came to understand that day did now show up immediately. But now I have them. When someone dies we do not stop loving them. Our love is not past tense. And it’s not just grief or nostalgia or sentimental memories. It is love in the present tense. It is love that still manages to shape us. We continue to be transformed by love after their death. And I believe I know why. Our loved ones who died are still loving us. They are in eternal life. Right now. They are alive in Christ – not as a metaphor, but as a bare fact. They are in the present tense. Their love is in the present tense. And so is ours.
Our love remains. And when I say our love remains, I am not saying it remains as a stubborn insistence to hold onto what was. No, our love remains because it is alive and active and we continue to share it with the dead who live in the present tense.
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Feb 09, 2024 |
WLSU, Audacity and Humility
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
WLSU, Audacity and Humility
In my first parish job, my rector told me it takes audacity and humility to be a priest. He said it take audacity to actually believe that the God who made all things has called you to preach and administer sacraments, to speak in God’s name. Who do we think we are? And it takes humility, he continued, because once you’re called you have to get out of the way of the Holy Spirit.
13 years into this work and I think he was right. I also think that this combination of audacity and humility is not something that is confined to priesthood. It seems to me that it takes audacity and humility simply to be Christian. It takes audacity to believe that there is a God who made every single thing in all of the history of the vast creation and that this God knows and loves you. It also takes humility to be a Christian, because you are admitting that you cannot do this life all on your own, that you need help, that there is something out there that is bigger and stronger and smarter than you, that you may be beloved, but so is everyone else. The audacity and humility of a Christian life.
What I did not know, and could not know early on in my ministry, is that this tension between audacity and humility would be messy and uncertain, and that it would reveal itself in all aspects of the work. I thought, for instance, that I would spend my entire ministry above the fray of politics.
For most of my priesthood I have not considered myself a political preacher. We all know preachers with that label. In the Episcopal Church we usually code them as social justice preachers, but we know what we mean: We mean people who bring a political perspective to the pulpit. I actively sought to avoid politics in my preaching and teaching until just a few years ago.
Jesus changed my mind.
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Feb 02, 2024 |
WLSU, Loving Kindness
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
WLSU, Loving Kindness
Kindness is not a Hallmark card. It is not a cloying call for a so-called return to the civility of the good old days that never really existed. Kindness is ferocious and powerful. Kindness is salvation.
To devote myself to kindness is to recognize the beauty and belonging of every person on this earth. Kindness is the practical application of acknowledging that each person is made in the image of God. Kindness is what it means to love my neighbor as myself.
Sometimes I forget the truth, and I start to think that kindness is weak. But kindness is strength, because kindness insists that the person to whom I am speaking carries holiness within them, bears the image of God. And to believe this is true takes strength and to act like it’s true takes courage. Because if I’m honest, I don’t always think someone has the image of God within them. I don’t always believe that a person is connected to God. I can believe in monsters just like anybody.
Hatred, spite, and demonization is dehumanization – the misguided belief that someone does not belong to God, was not made by God, is not magnificently loved by God. To let hatred have a voice is a direct decision to give in to the darkness of the powers that seek to corrupt and destroy the creatures of God.
The skeptic in me immediately points to the times Jesus says things that I see as harsh or brash. I can then say Jesus isn’t always kind, so why should I be? But when I pay attention to the words of Jesus, I see that every single one of them insists that the person to whom he is speaking belongs to God. Jesus’ words, even the rough ones, are kind because they acknowledge the inherent humanity and dignity of their recipients. Jesus does not think of anyone or speak of anyone as trash – not even his enemies. When Jesus critiques, when Jesus stands up and speaks out, when Jesus is angry, it comes from his conviction that the person in front of him is fully human. Jesus carries within him a deep yearning for even his enemy to see their own humanity and live into it.
I cannot blame Jesus for the times I don’t want to be kind.
To devote myself to kindness is to recognize the beauty and belonging of every person on this earth. Kindness is the practical application of acknowledging that each person is made in the image of God. Kindness is what it means to love my neighbor as myself.
Sometimes I forget the truth, and I start to think that kindness is weak. But kindness is strength, because kindness insists that the person to whom I am speaking carries holiness within them, bears the image of God. And to believe this is true takes strength and to act like it’s true takes courage. Because if I’m honest, I don’t always think someone has the image of God within them. I don’t always believe that a person is connected to God. I can believe in monsters just like anybody.
Hatred, spite, and demonization is dehumanization – the misguided belief that someone does not belong to God, was not made by God, is not magnificently loved by God. To let hatred have a voice is a direct decision to give in to the darkness of the powers that seek to corrupt and destroy the creatures of God.
The skeptic in me immediately points to the times Jesus says things that I see as harsh or brash. I can then say Jesus isn’t always kind, so why should I be? But when I pay attention to the words of Jesus, I see that every single one of them insists that the person to whom he is speaking belongs to God. Jesus’ words, even the rough ones, are kind because they acknowledge the inherent humanity and dignity of their recipients. Jesus does not think of anyone or speak of anyone as trash – not even his enemies. When Jesus critiques, when Jesus stands up and speaks out, when Jesus is angry, it comes from his conviction that the person in front of him is fully human. Jesus carries within him a deep yearning for even his enemy to see their own humanity and live into it.
I cannot blame Jesus for the times I don’t want to be kind.
Jan 26, 2024 |
WLSU, More Than That
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
WLSU, More Than That
In November of 1984 my parents threw an Election Night party. I still remember the little elephants on the cocktail napkins. I was five years old and understood nothing about politics, but I knew that Ronald Reagan was president, that he was about to be for four more years, and that this was both inevitable and very good. It is odd now to think of the outcome of a presidential election being a foregone conclusion, but it was. In 1984, Reagan carried all but one state and the District of Columbia in what is still the largest electoral landslide in modern history.
Moments like this implanted within me not only a strong political identity, but also a sense of clarity and certainty: My family’s guy was the good guy, he led the right team, he would win obviously and convincingly, and we would celebrate.
When my dad came out of the closet as gay in 1992, he remained a Republican – as he would until his death in 2006. When questioned over the years about his political loyalty he would point out, correctly, that neither major party had at the time a pro-gay platform, that it was Democrat Bill Clinton who signed into law the Defense of Marriage Act and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policies, and that since he wasn’t going to get any real recognition from either party, he might as well vote for the candidate that best represented his other beliefs.
His gay friends in particular were not persuaded by this argument. For what it was worth, neither was I. I was not interested in complexity – or compromise. I have always been a more difficult and idealistic person than he was. So I was excited in high school when my likewise contrarian brother introduced me to libertarianism.
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Jan 19, 2024 |
WLSU, A Nation of Prophets
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
WLSU, A Nation of Prophets
This is where the prophet comes in.
The prophet, you see, is like a voice in the wilderness of complacency, greed, and vanity who tells us what God sees when looking at the world we’re building.
Put in those terms, maybe we’re not a nation of priests these days. Maybe we’re a nation of prophets: A culture of people who feel as if God is compelling each and every one of us to speak our minds at all costs. The advent of social media has created not just the opportunity, but the pressure to make sure we have opinions and that we share them widely. At least in this country, there is far more emphasis on stating your values than on embodying them.
I don’t say this to demonize social media: It can be such a powerful connector and community builder, and the relationships we build there are not fake. They are real and they matter. But it is a radical change in the way we communicate and we are just at the beginning of understanding how it is changing us. The same platform that allows us to share photos and memories with distant loved ones also supplies us with false conspiracy theories and helps us to organize insurrections. That’s a lot for us to digest.
Likewise, I don’t mean to denigrate the prophetic voice. We need people in our lives who will speak hard truths, who will point both to our failings and to the hope of our shared future. But the prophet’s lone responsibility is to tell the truth. The prophet does not have stick around and make the change happen. A nation of prophets may write trenchant and forceful words.Sometimes we may even predict the future. But if we’re not intentional, we may find our focus shifting to people knowing what we believe, where we stand, what we think or know about any given issue.
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Jan 12, 2024 |
WLSU- Until You Love Them
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
WLSU- Until You Love Them
Growing up, I was not tall, or athletic, or particularly handsome. But I was quick: I thought quickly and I spoke quickly. And I remember actually thinking I may not be the fastest or the strongest but I can outtalk these people. Yes I understand how arrogant that sounds. I was a bit of an arrogant kid. Or at least I was a kid who tried to appear confident and tried to find confidence wherever I could, and that ended up looking a lot like arrogance from time to time.
I remember how important a witty comeback was to me. Or how important it was to win an argument. To be right. This was how I could be strong, I thought. I could say the clever thing, the cutting thing. I could say the smart thing – which I would often confuse with saying the right thing or the good thing.
I have always been unspeakably drawn to being clever and sounding witty, even when it wasn’t kind. In my childhood home, you could get away with saying mean things if they were funny enough. And I have always wanted to be right. Once as a teenager I was arguing with my dad, because of course I was, and he said, “Philip at some point you’ll have to decide, do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?” To which I shot back, “Both. I want to be happy about being right.” Another clever comeback: It emerged from my mouth so quickly that, I realize now, I had no actual time to contemplate his point, to digest it to possibly be transformed by it.
I want to tell you that it took me a long time to learn to hold my tongue, but that would imply that I’ve learned it. It’s closer to reality to say I am still learning.
Jan 05, 2024 |
WLSU, Back At It
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
WLSU, Back At It
Here we all are, emotionally hungover from the beautiful haze of the holiday season. So much planning and traveling and visiting and hosting and partying and wrapping and gift giving. So many expectations – some met, and some frustrated. We’re wondering if we’re really supposed to get back to life and work as usual. As I write these words, I am surrounded by decorations still needing to be boxed up, and a tree that in a few days will be stripped of its ornaments and hauled to the curb. But right now I’ve got to do all the normal work things. All those people to whom I said, “Let’s check in after the New Year,” well, it’s the New Year, and it’s time to check in.
My kids were not at all interested in going back to school. My daughter, in particular, was livid because they scheduled the first day back to cruelly coincide with her birthday. She thought maybe it was a conspiracy.
She doesn’t hate school, and you probably don’t hate your work, your commitments, your normal routine. But the dread of returning to it, of putting back on real pants, and eating reasonably, and basically just acting like a civilized human in this world again, sometimes just feels like too much.
And what I think I want to tell you today is not just that that’s normal or that it’s ok, but that it might even be a little holy.
Dec 29, 2023 |
WLSU, Compared to What - Throwback Episode
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
WLSU, Compared to What - Throwback Episode
Editor's note: As part of our When Love Shows Up Throwback Series we are re-posting this blog post which was originally posted on October 28, 2022.
For his entire career, Bob Dylan has sought to present himself as he currently is. And that simple reality frustrates people. Because they compare him to himself. They compare him to what he used to be. They compare him to their own memory of him. And they leave scratching their heads.
And how guilty are we of this? Not with Bob Dylan – but with life! Comparing our life now to what it used to be and then being disappointed that it has changed, even though changed is all it has ever been. Growth, aging, transformation, weathering, breaking down, building back up, being affected by your own life, showing your wrinkles. Your voice changes, your heart and your mind and your beliefs and your ideals and your faith all shift. But then you compare you now to you a few years ago. You scratch your head and say why. You just aren’t like you used to be.
Life keeps happening. And, to be honest, that’s what scares us. We want that singer to sound like he sounded 10 years ago, 20 years ago, 50 years ago – like he sounded in our memories. We find some strange solace in that kind of comparison. How much ink has been spilled comparing our country now to what we once were?
The church is far from immune to this comparison. Here is how I remember church: why can’t it be like that?
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Dec 22, 2023 |
WLSU, Everybody's Birthday
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
WLSU, Everybody's Birthday
Speaking as a Christian, I don’t say Christmas is everyone’s birthday for the sake of quaint comparison. I believe the birth of Jesus changes every person for all time. Because of Jesus, every single person on this planet is deeply connected to the God who made them. Every single person. It doesn’t matter where they were born, what they believe or don’t believe, how they vote, if they pray or not. In Jesus, God has chosen to hold onto every single one of us forever, to redeem every single one of our lives. God has said yes to us, and indeed to all of creation. We all belong utterly to God without condition.
So Christmas is the celebration of Jesus, yes. But through Jesus, Christmas is a celebration of each and every one of us. It’s a celebration of our lives, of our belonging. If we are serious about recognizing who Jesus is and celebrating what God has done, then this season, this holy day, is best spent celebrating our humanity and the beautiful humanity of those around us. Because on this day we remember that God blesses our humanity.
The things we want for children on their birthday – to feel special, to feel loved, to have a wonderful day in which they can really experience a sense of what a blessing it is that they exist, what a blessing they are to those of us who know them – this is a list of what God wants for us on Christmas.
But let’s be realistic: There will still be stress and anxiety because of our expectations. There is no way around this I suppose. I want to stay honest about that.
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Dec 15, 2023 |
WLSU, Ad Advent Progress Report
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
WLSU, Ad Advent Progress Report
How is the buildup to Christmas going for you? Are you experiencing hope and joy and all that? Are you being festive enough? Are you feeling all the correct feelings? I want to take this opportunity to remind you that there is no one right way to experience Christmas. Our feelings and expectations surrounding Christmas are endlessly complicated and there’s no reason for us to pretend otherwise.
In the church we call the post-Thanksgiving pre-Christmas season Advent: It’s a word which, aptly, means “coming” – as in, “Oh no Christmas is coming and we are not ready.” Funny enough, most of the Bible readings assigned for Advent aren’t about the joy of Christmas – they are about the surprise, dread, hope, fear, and expectation that accompanies Jesus showing up. As in, “Oh no, Jesus is coming and we are not ready.”
There is no perfect Christmas. There is no way to get it all right. There is no way to win. And yet we fret every year as if our worrying will bring about perfection.
I have never had a perfect Christmas. But I love this season so much. I love it in its ridiculousness and tension. I love the songs and early dark and the lights. I’m 44 and I’m realizing I don’t care at all what my presents are (so long as I get some). I wouldn’t mind a Toblerone in my stocking. Mostly I just want it to snow, I want to sing Christmas carols at church, and I want to watch Christmas Vacation.
But I know. I know even though I make it sound like I’m easy to please, that I am no different than you. I too am carrying complicated feelings and hopes into the next few days.
Dec 08, 2023 |
WLSU, We Almost Died
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
WLSU, We Almost Died
So the heater didn’t get fixed last spring. And we forgot about it because it was getting warmer. And now here we were in Late November, with a few freezing nights under our belt, and my wife’s office is generally too cold. She had been using a space heater, but we knew that could not be the solution for the next few months: That would blow up our electric bill, and of course space heaters can be dangerous. After dragging our feet for a couple weeks, my wife finally called an HVAC technician with whom we’d worked last year. Almost as an afterthought, she asked him to just check on our furnace too while he’s at our house.
The technician shows up and takes a look at our radiant heater. And it’s working. As in, nothing is wrong with it. There was no reason for us to call. It just works. It was not working before. Now it is. He shrugs and goes off to the furnace. He runs some tests, comes back upstairs and says the heat exchange is cracked on our furnace and it is blowing carbon monoxide all over the place. He says he thinks it’s just blowing outside through the exhaust, have we noticed anything inside?
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Dec 01, 2023 |
WLSU, Childish Things
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
WLSU, Childish Things
A couple weeks ago I spoke/wrote about growing up, about maturing. And now we’re talking about playing Nintendo. But I’ve been thinking about the things that shaped us in our youth, about what we did with them as we grew up. In one of Paul’s letters to a church he (somewhat passive aggressively) tells them that when he was a child he did childish things, but when he grew up it was time to put childish things away. What did you put away when you grew up? What did you let go of?
Some people put away Christianity when they grow up. And I can’t say I blame them much of the time. I do not believe God is a fairy tale. I do believe much of the way we have experienced Christianity is childish. As a teacher of mine used to say, the church in America is structured for spiritual infancy. What he meant was that Christianity as we know it is often does not push us to grow. And when we do grow, our churches don’t know how to grow with us. So we abandon Christianity. Or, what’s worse, we hold onto a version of Christianity that doesn’t grow and mature even as we do.
I am fully capable of spiritual immaturity.
Some people put away Christianity when they grow up. And I can’t say I blame them much of the time. I do not believe God is a fairy tale. I do believe much of the way we have experienced Christianity is childish. As a teacher of mine used to say, the church in America is structured for spiritual infancy. What he meant was that Christianity as we know it is often does not push us to grow. And when we do grow, our churches don’t know how to grow with us. So we abandon Christianity. Or, what’s worse, we hold onto a version of Christianity that doesn’t grow and mature even as we do.
I am fully capable of spiritual immaturity.
Nov 23, 2023 |
WLSU, Multitasking Gratitude
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
WLSU, Multitasking Gratitude
I am thinking today about gratitude. I am thinking about what it means to be thankful. It is not possible to be thankful all the time. I can’t feel any one feeling all the time. Sometimes I think I’m supposed to always feel good, or happy, or confident – and that is an unreasonable expectation to place on myself. But I can seek to focus on gratitude for this life.
Quite often God is in my presence, showing me attention and care, sharing this life with me. But I get distracted. I say I’m multitasking, but really, I’m choosing to focus on something else. Probably my phone. I’m juggling a lot, and not all of it is good. Not all of it is good. I want to say that out loud, because toxic positivity and delusional gratitude are real: The fanatical push to make everything ok is tempting in religious circles. Not everything is ok. Nobody knows that better than God.
But where will I place my focus? With which eyes will I look at this moment?
Thanksgiving is underrated. It used to signal the beginning of the Holiday Season
Nov 17, 2023 |
When Love Shows Up - Growing Up
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
When Love Shows Up - Growing Up
I have a confession to make. I love being an adult. I get to stay up past my bedtime. I get to drive a car. I have to work, sure, but I also get to work – get to do something I love and learn how to get better at it. I will never have to take another math test, never get another detention. Sure, I went bald, but now I don’t get hat hair. I get to have a beard. I watch R-Rated movies. I eat my kids’ Halloween candy after they go to bed. I have two dogs! I had one and wanted another one, so I got another one! It was a terrible idea, but it was my terrible idea and all I had to do was be willing to live with the consequences!
I didn’t much like being a kid, to be honest. It’s not like I had a bad childhood. I wasn’t trying to escape. But from a very young age, I believed that I would enjoy being an adult so much more. And then I grew up and I was right. This is what I’ve been waiting for. All the stressors I described before are still true. It’s very very difficult, this adulting. But I love it. I love being grown-up.
It’s painful and it’s scary. I both laugh and cry more readily than I ever did as a child. It’s all more terrible and beautiful than I ever could have imagined.
I know our culture is obsessed with youth; that we are programmed to look backward and yearn for an idealized version of who we once were, to long for younger bodies and simpler times. I do it too. Some of it is about being scared of death. Some of it is wishing we could have had the ability to comprehend back then just how precious time was when everything seemed endless and ageless and eternal. And some of it is the legitimate annoyance that if I sleep wrong tonight, I will be sore for three days.
Oct 27, 2023 |
When Love Shows Up - Trust Women
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
When Love Shows Up - Trust Women
Every time Jesus interacts with a woman in the Gospel narratives, she leaves with her humanity, her dignity affirmed. Every time. So, it makes sense that Christians should actively support the full humanity, dignity, and autonomy of women. This should not be controversial. Supporting abortion rights is not contrary to following Jesus. Supporting abortion rights, at its core, is about trusting people who are pregnant to make decisions for what is happening within their body. It is their body.
I used to think it was my job to protect the life that was growing inside other people. That belief was rooted in the idea that I knew what was right for others, for their bodies. I believed that I should have a say. I believed that it was a woman’s job to do whatever she had to do in order to protect that life no matter what, even if that meant being forced to do so. I believed I was standing up for the dignity of the unborn, but in doing so, I put myself in the position of undermining and even ignoring the dignity of the woman. I am short-circuiting her autonomy instead of affirming and supporting it. I can no longer do that. Jesus won’t let me.
There is a famous moment in the Gospel stories when Jesus calls out the religious leaders of his time, saying, “You are placing burdens on people they can never bear!” Jesus was talking to me. He was talking to all of us who believe we know what is right for others, and especially those of us who use laws to place unbearable burdens on others.
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Oct 20, 2023 |
When Love Shows Up - The Silence
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
When Love Shows Up - The Silence
This week the Al-Ahli al-Arabi hospital in Gaza was hit with a missile and over 400 people died. The hospital is a ministry of the Anglican Church in Jerusalem – with much of its funding coming directly from Episcopalians in America. The bishop who oversees this hospital is a dear friend, and a peaceful man. You have heard of this horrific missile strike. How did you feel when it was reported as an Israeli missile? How did you feel when you then heard reports that it was a Palestinian missile? Did one sound better to you than the other? Which culprit was preferable for the story you are telling about what is happening? I know what my preference was.
I wonder if the children who were killed care who was responsible.
Our need to have a clear cut take on what is happening unites us with Job’s friends. It somehow feels safer if we can unabashedly Stand with Israel or Free Palestine. We can choose our story and roll our eyes at the obviousness of it all. We can avoid our grief and focus on our outrage.
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I wonder if the children who were killed care who was responsible.
Our need to have a clear cut take on what is happening unites us with Job’s friends. It somehow feels safer if we can unabashedly Stand with Israel or Free Palestine. We can choose our story and roll our eyes at the obviousness of it all. We can avoid our grief and focus on our outrage.
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Oct 13, 2023 |
Rector's Blog, Good Grief
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
Rector's Blog, Good Grief
I have lived a few places now: several rounds in Southern California – both in Orange County and Los Angeles, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Maine, North Carolina, Virginia, and now Cincinnati Ohio. Most of these places have felt like home at one point or another. I am always happy to go back to any of these places to visit. At the same time, it’s just that: A visit. I need to consult Google maps to get places I used to know by memory. I imagine alternate realities where I never left California in the first place, or where I never left New England, or where I settled down in Charlotte. So many things I was, and so many I could’ve been. There’s beauty in that, and also some grief.
Grief is different than regret. I do not wish I had made different decisions, that my life was different. It’s not that. It’s just an acknowledgment of all the loss that life brings.
We have a desire to demonize grief, to minimize it or stifle it completely if possible. And when experiencing grief there is some part of us that feels guilty, like we should not be feeling this, like it’s maudlin or overly sensitive. Our goal seems to be to get through grief as quickly as we can. I wonder why that is. Christians can be particularly problematic. We will often try to short-circuit grief by pointing to God’s plan or the promise of Heaven. As if our belief that everything is going to be ok means that we should not experience grief.
But grief is not evil. Grief is a gift, because it is honest about the things that we have lost.
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Oct 06, 2023 |
Rector's Blog, Got To Get You Into My Life
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
Rector's Blog, Got To Get You Into My Life
I remember recently witnessing a friend of mine being painfully misunderstood, and I remember thinking if only the people who misunderstood her really knew her, they would love her too. How could they not?
It's interesting though, this idea that loving someone is meant as a compliment. Love as seal of approval. As if the love we give someone is a sign that they are worth loving, that they have earned it, that their character has somehow merited our love. Even though that’s almost never been our experience of love. People may earn our trust. People may earn our respect, our esteem, our appreciation. But our love works differently and we know it. It wasn’t my trust the Beatles won over that day in the booth of that vaguely Hawaiian-themed restaurant.
The phrase is to know them is to love them. But I think I’ve begun to believe the opposite. I think I believe now that to love someone is to know them.
It is the Christian belief that God is love.
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It's interesting though, this idea that loving someone is meant as a compliment. Love as seal of approval. As if the love we give someone is a sign that they are worth loving, that they have earned it, that their character has somehow merited our love. Even though that’s almost never been our experience of love. People may earn our trust. People may earn our respect, our esteem, our appreciation. But our love works differently and we know it. It wasn’t my trust the Beatles won over that day in the booth of that vaguely Hawaiian-themed restaurant.
The phrase is to know them is to love them. But I think I’ve begun to believe the opposite. I think I believe now that to love someone is to know them.
It is the Christian belief that God is love.
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Sep 29, 2023 |
Rector's Blog, Becoming a Runner
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
Rector's Blog, Becoming a Runner
I was a runner once about 12 years ago. I don’t just mean that I ran once. I mean I became a runner. I had jogged now and again growing up, but was never a runner. Then one day I thought to myself, I’m gonna run a half-marathon. I cannot tell you exactly why, other than I was 31 and at the beginning of my marriage and the beginning of my career, and was about to have a child and was still very much of the mindset that I had something to prove. Is there such a thing as a 1/3rd life crisis?
I’m not so sure I don’t still have something to prove.
Anyway, I decided to run a half-marathon because I wanted to prove I could. That was it. Can a short stubby out-of-shape guy in his 30’s run a long way very slowly? It turns out I could. I had a friend who was a runner, and I asked her to train me. And she did. I trained. I followed her schedule. I got running shorts, and running shoes, and BodyGlide – which is what they call an anti-chafing balm, and a little water bottle I could attach to my hand. I ran long distances and listened to podcasts and took ice baths. I ran two half-marathons before a combination of shin splints and a new baby sidelined my burgeoning career and I hung up my Brooks sneakers.
But here’s my question: When did I become a runner?
Give Here
or if you can't access the link, see it here:https://redeemercincy.tpsdb.com/Give/podcast
I’m not so sure I don’t still have something to prove.
Anyway, I decided to run a half-marathon because I wanted to prove I could. That was it. Can a short stubby out-of-shape guy in his 30’s run a long way very slowly? It turns out I could. I had a friend who was a runner, and I asked her to train me. And she did. I trained. I followed her schedule. I got running shorts, and running shoes, and BodyGlide – which is what they call an anti-chafing balm, and a little water bottle I could attach to my hand. I ran long distances and listened to podcasts and took ice baths. I ran two half-marathons before a combination of shin splints and a new baby sidelined my burgeoning career and I hung up my Brooks sneakers.
But here’s my question: When did I become a runner?
Give Here
or if you can't access the link, see it here:https://redeemercincy.tpsdb.com/Give/podcast
Sep 22, 2023 |
Rector's Blog, Holy Dying
| The Rev. Philip DeVaul
Rector's Blog, Holy Dying
What is your prayer when you know someone is going to die? So many of my prayers for the sick and dying are centered around their return to health, for a cure, for an end to the disease, for a reversal of fortunes. Sometimes a prayer for healing is a reasonable request. Other times I pray for a miracle. To be clear whether healing seems reasonable or realistic or not, I should pray for it if it is what I hope and wish for. Sometimes it’s exactly the thing I need to pray. Sometimes “heal them” is the only thing that makes sense to me.
I remember kneeling in front of the bed and praying for my dad to be healed while paramedics were working on his body in the hallway around the corner. He was already dead, had been dead when they showed up, but there I was praying for healing. I don’t judge myself for that prayer. It’s what I wanted. I asked for what I wanted. And I don’t judge God for not making it so. There is so little I understand about life and death and how it all rests in the heart of the God who made us. God, my dad, me – we all did our part in that moment.
Death shows up. What is our prayer?
One of the great gifts of my job is the sheer number of times it puts me in close contact with death. I am invited into the room where a person will die, invited to pray over them, to thank God for their life. To witness the tears of their loved ones, to shed my own tears. There is heaviness there. It is not a joy. It takes a piece out of me. And also, I have come to see it as a gift. Death carries with it a sort of holiness. An ending that is shared by every living thing. We hold it in common. I have stumbled into the practice of praying for a holy death when I find out someone is dying. I have learned to pray this without flinching. Because I believe there is such a thing as holy dying.
I remember kneeling in front of the bed and praying for my dad to be healed while paramedics were working on his body in the hallway around the corner. He was already dead, had been dead when they showed up, but there I was praying for healing. I don’t judge myself for that prayer. It’s what I wanted. I asked for what I wanted. And I don’t judge God for not making it so. There is so little I understand about life and death and how it all rests in the heart of the God who made us. God, my dad, me – we all did our part in that moment.
Death shows up. What is our prayer?
One of the great gifts of my job is the sheer number of times it puts me in close contact with death. I am invited into the room where a person will die, invited to pray over them, to thank God for their life. To witness the tears of their loved ones, to shed my own tears. There is heaviness there. It is not a joy. It takes a piece out of me. And also, I have come to see it as a gift. Death carries with it a sort of holiness. An ending that is shared by every living thing. We hold it in common. I have stumbled into the practice of praying for a holy death when I find out someone is dying. I have learned to pray this without flinching. Because I believe there is such a thing as holy dying.
